You don’t need to be the smartest or most intelligent person to be successful. All you need is a dose of emotional intelligence. It matters more than your Intelligence Quotient (IQ). That’s because it enables you to understand and manage your emotions and that of the people around you. If you ask me about emotional intelligence, I will tell you that “it’s the difference that makes all the difference”. Anyway, these are the 5 ways emotionally intelligent people react when provoked:
#1. Approach the Person Directly
One of the ways emotionally intelligent people react when provoked is to approach the person directly. It doesn’t matter whether your employees or superior provoked you. A direct approach is one of the best ways to handle it.
Of course, you don’t have to be confrontational about it. Approach the person privately and try to know the motive behind their actions.
Again, don’t approach someone who provoked you out of anger. Instead, do it out of curiosity.
You can approach the person this way – “forgive me if I’m wrong, but why do I get the feeling that you are angry with me?” It’s entirely possible that the person may be provoking you unconsciously. But by approaching them directly, they will become conscious of their behavior next time.
However, there are instances when the person confirms that they are angry with you. And nothing will change how they feel about you.
If you get such a response, don’t freak out. Try to balance your emotions. Perhaps, it could be that you are a threat to them and their objectives. Continue acting professionally and keep your calm.
#2. Get Perspective
Emotions could be dangerous to your personal and professional life, especially if you manage them poorly. So, learn to react to issues rationally even when someone provoked you.
There may be more to the situation than you know. That’s why you should try to assess situations, get the other person’s perspective, and listen without judgment before you react to any situation (whether good or bad).
Trying to see things from other people’s perspective is one of the ways emotionally intelligent people react when provoked. And that’s why they are always exceptional in any environment they find themselves in.
#3. Take a Six-Second Pause
One of the things that make emotionally intelligent people outstanding is that they don’t act on impulse. Before they react, they critically assess the true nature of things.
Even if someone pushed them to the wall, they would never react on impulse. Instead, they take a six-second pause before taking the next action.
I know you may be wondering why waiting for 6 seconds? Why not 30 seconds or possibly a few minutes? Well, it’s because the chemical that triggers emotions in the brain and body lasts for only 6 seconds.
And if you can keep your cool within these 6 seconds, the flood of chemicals your brain and body produce will slow down.
So, if you are angry or upset, don’t react within the first six seconds. Don’t say anything. Instead, reflect on what happened again. If you can achieve this, you can always make more careful choices about your personal and professional life.
#4. Stay Humble
One of the ways emotionally intelligent people react when provoked is to stay humble. They understand that pride is poison to their soul. And if you allow it to consume you, it may be difficult to keep your emotions in check. Most people tend to react negatively whenever someone provokes them.
However, if you stay humble, you will always balance your emotions. Even when people deliberately try to trigger your anger, you won’t react. Of course, this may bruise your ego, but the humility in you will always keep you calm.
So, instead of reacting angrily to the person who provoked you, see the person as a flawed human being like yourself. Show them compassion, and you will turn the whole situation around in your favor. And the person who provoked you will possibly realize the error of their ways.
#5. Be the First to Reach Out After the Conflict
It’s normal for conflict to happen in a work environment. But don’t allow resentment to continue after a conflict or argument. You don’t have to lose a friend, family member, or colleague because of ego.
You don’t need to cut someone off because you have a misunderstanding with them. Rather, reach out to them and apologize even if you are not wrong.
Reaching out to someone after a conflict doesn’t make you look weak. It only shows that you value your relationship with them more than your ego. And it’s a courageous act that will soften the heart of the other person and make them realize their mistakes…most of the time.
These are the ways emotionally intelligent people react when provoked. Take note of them, as they will help you balance your emotions in times of conflict.
How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a skill that will bring out the best in you. It will help you weather the storm in any situation you find yourself in. Here are tips for developing emotional intelligence;
- Always react to people with calmness and humility. Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and see things from their perspective.
- Practice humility and let go of ego. It doesn’t mean you are shy or not confident in yourself. But it gives the impression that you are a team player who is more committed to the team’s success than your ego.
- Evaluate yourself honestly and identify your strengths and weaknesses. And make an effort to work on your weakness.
- Learn to take responsibility for your actions. When you hurt someone directly or indirectly, apologize. Trust me, if you honestly attempt to make things right, people you wrong will be willing to forgive.